I've slept with so many tools that you'd think my pussy was Home Depot.
I'm afraid my bank account can't handle syllabus week.
He doesn't make grammatical errors. Even while getting head.
do you wanna get some fucking pussy tonight.....THEN DRESS LIKE IT
We really need to check into harvesting part of our liver now
I should probably just look up vagina pictures in the anatomy textbook. That always cheers me up.
When I found her she was drinking wine out of a plastic bag in a bathroom stall, staring at herself in the mirror and crying hysterically. Cabo does things to a person...
He was rocking just a diaper, shoes, and a gun. Sadly, I would still hit it.
Nothing says "Hello, Adulthood!" quite like receiving a dick photo at 11AM from a guy you haven't heard from since fifth grade.
YOU DESERVE A GUY WITH A NORMAL DICK DONT SETTLE FOR ANYTHING LESS
She left you responsible for her guinea pig for what, 3 hours? And it somehow died under your care? I will no longer trust you with so much as a beer.
Dude like i feel like i did ALL OF THE DRUGS yesterday
I need you to sex the hangover out of me again.
Dear god my vagina.
Visiting my great uncle went well. The highlight of the evening was when he said, "Oh my god. I'm 79 and I'm teaching 18 year old kids how to roll a joint."
Randomize
