i woke up this morning to a slap on the ass and jake saying "you should let me put it in your ass now" i need out of this relationship.
for sure. did you let him do it?
thats not the point.
they need to just BURY HIM!
if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
its amazing how hard it is to tell vomit from stuffing the day after
It was like a secret agent hookup. No names, swift execution, get in- get out.
But besides the pee thing, he sounds like a nice guy.
Dude this deaf chick is totally hot, I just bought an apartment on boner ave
The sex was so bad. I kept sending people snapchats of my face during it.
Are you alive?
I woke up under the pier.
He offered me a trade. He'll come sober to my parents 25th anniversary dinner if I let him tie me up for an hour.
Update. bondage is a lot harder than it looks.
But lunch with my dad really just means an hour and a half of him telling me how he's disappointed and how he knows I'm on drugs
Yes I peed all over myself and lost both my credit cards, who wants to know?
The thing about being single is like Sunday morning sex is nice but so is Sunday morning eating Nutella from the jar in your underwear
apparently in the middle of sex, i said "i just really love the food network i watch it every day"
at the hospital. Kevin drank straight from the river
Randomize
