mmm... i enjoy making beautiful women smile
please say your awake. the girl i brought home last night...any idea on a name? she isnt up yet...
By getting ready I mean putting baby powder in my hair and possibly changing my pajamas to another pair of pajamas
one of the cashiers from Kroger is eating at my kitchen table and nobody knows why.
I hope, cuz I was gunna get "celebritory drunk" but now I have to get "I'm disappointed drunk"
I met her dad while holding 4 empty beer bottles at the opera house. I think I made a hell of an impression.
I drink more single than I do in relationships. Except with assface.
I told him he was probably the first guy to get fucked while wearing Star Wars pyjamas.
My sugar daddy is a bigger asshole than i am. What's wrong here?
We're living together and you don't know if I've seen Titanic?!
Well, I guess that's how life goes for my dad. One minute you're walking with your cooler on the afterglow of a Lynyrd Skynyrd concert, the next you find your grown son choking out a drunk redneck against your pickup truck.
Omg. We have to workout today. I just looked at myself in the mirror and thanked a god I don't believe in for drunken boys and dark rooms.
You grabbed my shirt and said, "hope you're not attached" and ripped it off before I could answer you.
I'm watching Netflix with my cats and eating homemade bread. Everyone and everything can go and fuck itself.
eating pizza to get the taste of dick out my mouth wby
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