so then they started chanting "LET'S GET A LITTLE BIT SCHWASTED. S-H-W-...WASTED!" theres nothing like partying with former high school cheerleaders
Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
Dude. No way. She insults the term butterface. She's a butternothing.
My phone really needs to stop auto correcting "library" to "ovary".
I really think we need to get on this Charlie Sheen bandwagon
I don't think my body can handle the alcohol I want to put in it anymore.
Overall win. We all know who got to sleep on the concrete outside of Denny's with you.
I wore sweatpants. When I show up to a booty call in sweatpants there's your warning
She has an inverted nipple. She told to play with the normal one until the other one pops up.
she said i was like a little lamb and she felt bad for luring me into her den of sin. then she blew me.
Being a virgin isn't supposed to be this easy for you.
Every time I someone I meet again from that wedding it turns into the "Oh your the guy who puked in the hallway and passed out in front of the elevator."
I've peed outside too many times in just this past week
Do you wanna fuck while my apple pie is in the oven?
Buying a new pipe this morning, and setting up career plans this afternoon. It's called balance
Ha. Yeah that's all I found you with this morning. Butt ass naked w my robe across your lap and your arms thrown back in handcuff position.
Randomize
