DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
turns out the website for Dick's Sporting goods is not "dicks.com". It was a win either way.
just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
how did i get to the car and why are my shoes broken
A guy in the dance floor is raising the roof with an axe in hand. I love Halloween.
It's hard to judge what a reasonable amount of cereal looks like in the spaghetti pot. We're out of cap'n crunch and milk.
I don't care that you had sex on my bed. I care that you used my lollipop condom. I was saving that for a special occasion
It was a special occasion. Your best friend had crazy awesome sex on your bed. Thank you
Can you please help mom and dad? Theyre trying to figure out Skype, and its like 2 cavemen finding fire.
Like these jerks could have told me it wasn't a video call, I wouldn't have put on pants.
I never thought I could be this turned on by a man wearing racoon tails.
I just ordered a onesie on amazon in the back of the ambulance while my patient was sleeping. I'm an adult
Not sure how my purse ended up in the bushes last night... Or why there was a noodle strainer in the toilet.
Dude.. She just busted into my house wearing a ski mask, a poncho, and thigh-high pink hooker boots and yelled, "THE CABS ARE HEEERRREEE!!"
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
Not going to make it tonight. Some cougar at the bar just told me she has dibs on my dick.
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