Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
When we were fucking, you could hear the beer sloshing around in my stomach
I'm currently imdbing Helena Bonham Carter to see if there are any pictures of her that don't scare the crap out of me.
Good luck with that.
I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
I love having hate sex.
making an appointment with student health services to check out my pinkeye on 4/20. they are going to thing this is such a joke
no guy is ever going to take you seriously as a potential marriage prospect unless you learn to swallow
Dude, you walked in on me 5 times each times you had a different person with you. And each time you lifted the covers up and said 'whats going on in here'
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
There's a bachlorette party going on at the bowling alley, so we'll see who wins greatest shitshow tonight.
He just grabbed my boob and justified it by saying "I just wanna feel your heart beat"
I love birth control. How's that for a Facebook status on valentines day.
What’s the level of adulting when you reschedule a dentist appointment to have a threesome?
I just learned that I could drop out of school and spend the rest of my savings on a giraffe are you free this weekend
What should I list for life skills
How about home wrecking? You’re excellent at that
Hmm...that is a life skill in Southern California
Randomize
