Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
my shit smells like andre
the last girl i hooked up with and the last guy i hooked up with are hooking up right now. this is where bisexuality becomes a problem.
she is like cheap alcohol. you can only get so buzzed before you get sick.
Like that time I held Annie up and she peed all over the window.. We make a good team.
what whaaaat?! I BET YOU WIN IN THE TEETH DEPARTMENT.
Your little brother is asking me for an "expert opinion" on his dick size.
I'm happily sitting on the toilet cause I'm too tired to move. I'm considering making this my permanent residence. It has a lot to offer.
So how was the sex with me last night?
No worse than usual.
In other news, I'm pretty sure my mom was encouraging me to have a threesome yesterday... I don't even want to start digging in that garden of horror and trauma.
I don't remember how I broke my nose last night, but I woke up with dried blood everywhere. Also, you should tell that guy how you feel.
You put on a bike helmet, yelled "doesn't matter fuck it" then punched a stick the fire
So I'm at early voting and the group of ladies behind me is talking about voting no on 2 and my gummy is kicking in, thank lawd
You kept yelling stranger danger at Nick because he was talking to that girl you didn't like. Your not invited ever again.
I think the cop who arrested me yesterday is at my gym rn should I say hi
Randomize
