you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
Found my sandals in your freezer this morning, THANKS
Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
I need a DD tuesday morning around 9 AM
I'm scared to ask why.....
1st bikini wax. Jose Cuervo is helping me prepare.
It's taken me 5 years and 2 beers to finally realize that maybe he isn't the dude for me. Also, that picking your major should be done sober, lest you find your self an art major.
My goal tonight is to get arrested because what cop can say they have ever arrested a giant sperm before. God I love halloween
There's a lady here with a big bag of dildos. I'm not sure that's appropriate bar baggage but, I like her style
I just want to have sex and eat oreos. and then take body shots. like everyday.
Your dad just texted me? He said I needed to holler at him when I get up tomorrow. I honestly thought you had somehow gone to jail.
Just watched a guy get through airport security with a full bottle of captain morgan. In my head the entire airport cheered.
And we just chatted casually as i peed on the floor and she peed in the toilet
Cant really say how it happened but i woke up in the middle of the night and somehow pissed all over connors dad
You know getting black out drunk at a cats birthday party should have been my lowest point drinking wise but some how I feel like last night was some how worse
My early Valentine's Day one night stand just took an uber home. Thank you, technology, for letting me enjoy this day in peace. 😍
I just woke up with a pair of handcuffs in my pants, can u explain this?
Randomize
