WHAT IS WRONG WITH SOCIETY?!?!?!
... says the kid who took a shit in my parents dishwasher...
i woke up convinced that my room was backwards i tried to go into the closet to get outta my room
Just because i have a masturbation problem doesnt mean you can put 20 photos of Jesus in my room.
so explain to me why i woke up in jail this morning
because you opened a jar or pickles and a bag of fritos and layed down in the middle of aisle 7 while singing 'la cucaracha'
no more ever clear
how are you not completely traumatized after 8 years of friendship with me?
Woke up next to a half eaten California burrito. It was tucked in.
Next time we're there I want drunk pics of us trying to ride the stone lions downtown. Don't even attempt to fight me on this.
Well some days you just have to get blackout drunk and try to speak Spanish to French Canadian strangers
So if you ever need to know a guy who knows a guy who knows a guy that can put a 24oz beer can up his ass... Hit me up...
How do I respond to this?! It's not easy to say "you're hot & the sex was good, but outside the bedroom you scare me"
Back at condo with chick. What is the condom situation urgent response needed
You took one look at him and said "let's hope I don't remember this tomorrow" then you took another shot and chased it with a beer.. I guess it was a success.
And then you screamed, "I JUST WANNA POUR MAPLE SYRUP ALL OVER HIM AND RAVISH HIS BODY!!"
I just had a man tell me he was going to think about me when he was fucking his wife tonight. This is my proudest moment as a gay.
my night went from a boring school play to hotboxing a car with 3 criminals
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