I wannas sexs uuuuu
I have never made a good decision in that bathroom...
Pre-drinking/conditioning my liver for this impending hurricane party associated with cat. 2 hurricane Irene. Be ready to roll in a weather channel minute.
he made me feel like a shish kabob. his dick was the skewer.
and you said he wasn't worth calling.
I just ate a dove chocolate and the wrapper said "chocolate: always your valentine" WHAT KIND OF JACKASS WRITES THESE AND WHY MUST THEY MOCK ME?
I want a calm night. Not one where I wake up to you topless and bloody.
New drunken fun fact of last night, after I pushed Sarah and before I started making out with guy #1, I shouted that I'd go to third base on a first date, then threw myself at him
Dude you spent 20 minutes on the phone with dominos answering machine trying to order a pizza
Waking up at a teachers house is a very confusing thing
Yea I almost drowned giving a BJ in the shower once
He added me to his contacts as 'boot and rally'...have you ever been more proud to be related to me?
I can't wait to tell mom.
I wore heels to a golf store in hopes of getting laid. I've hit a new all time low.
I've made this amazing blanket/pillow cocoon combo and I am set for life in here.
Umm I might be late. Also I am may or may not have mayonnaise on my ass
Yep. Just fucked a 34 year old on the football field where we both went to high school. That's a story for the grandkids.
Randomize
