do you ever lay in the bath and watch the blood hit the water?
EWW. Don't discuss your period with me. You can go shave your back now.
My mail consisted of a box of dildos and christmas card from grandma.
you know you made out with my sister while holding Ur girlfriends hand while she was puking in the toilet right
My roommate says its rare that you can be tear gassed before you lose your virginity so i feel accomplished in life
My landlord showed my apartment to a prospective tenant today and I had my vibrator and gun both chilling on my nightstand
I just want brownies and waffles and someone to lick my tits
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
sex on the stairs. not our finest idea.
I specialize in how to hang out and party with randoms after you've hooked up with them. Not in feelings.
Last night turned out to be an expensive trip to your house between the ticket and the plan b. (Well I haven't gotten that yet)
He told me he sees me like a sister then 10 mins later tried to make out with me.
we were all too drunk to realize that the cat wasnt yours
So help me God.... if he sends me a dick pic.... I will make it so he has to eat food through a tube in his nose and poop into a bag by his belly button
Dude I love you. So much. Thank u. I'm safea. In allysi lns car. Mine towed. If u loved me ud leand me 500 in the morning. Sleep on it nd let me know.
Good Morning! You are sterile right?
Randomize
