Can Purell be used as lube?
I'm so cold I just used my boobs to keep my face warm
I'm hoping to finish this bottle of wine before I pass out, I don't want the remainder spilling on my white down comforter.
I thought about donating plasma but thats not the way i want to find out that i have aids
my fake id says im a 34 yr old russian lady ... how is this working
it would be so handy to have a fax machine attached to my body
I wish I could understand how you function in society
I'm getting turned down for sex. Apparently my "sexual appetite" cannot be satiated even by a man who's such a deviant he went to prison for jerking off in his car.
I'll always remember 2012 as the year I hooked up with countless girls who had the sides of their heads shaved.
Whats proper etiquette for apologizing to your wife for being so drunk you stood up and pissed on the bedroom floor next to the bed?
I saw the attitude and didn't even try. Line of the night from one guy who talked with them for a while said, "I don't meet you standards. I have a job and would treat you well." She was blank faced.
Who's the easier target... Bandages on the knees, tramp stamp, or bra showing? Not in the mood to work for it tonight.
I'm so high. I'm going to need directions to get home.
I dont remember you getting a condom thrown at you. I think I had a concusion
its hard to say precisely how it happened, but the next thing i knew i was on top of a mountain
Just puked in front of a high school tour group. Based on the standing ovation, we have a solid group of freshman coming in this fall.
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