i just turned barefoot contessa into a drinking game. everytime she uses a knife butter or salt i drink.
"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
Also I am about to cut a ringtone from "Sex Machine" so James Brown can tell me to "get up, get on up" in the morning
I once woke up to the scream from 'get up offa that thing' and smacked my head on my desk
Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i found a twelve pack under my bed. and a six pack in my closet. I'm like a fucking alcoholic squirrel.
but he gave me mouthwash after the bj. no ones ever done that for me before.
By the way. I expect to test the theory of you running a mile drunk for memorial day.
You forgot your "boyfriend" from last night on my couch. You're suppose to bring that shit with you.
Is it bad that I feel proud to be the first one to puke in the apartment? And I did it in style?
You straight up painted the counter with steak, tequila and beer. You owe me a knew toothbrush.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My ideal friend would be my dog as a drug dealer
Somehow I ended up in a different costume dancing with some tree of a guy in the basement bathroom, what did you give me?
Easy Mac and you are the sexiest things in my life
I was just trying to be a good friend but in retrospect I probably shouldn't have pepper sprayed you.
If I'm gonna have a rotation of guys, I really should stop them leaving boob bruises...
I just got yelled at by a stripper for being a tease.
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