my professor just told me i smelt like a brewery infront of my whole class b4 my final presentation
if you take his cock out, you have to give him a bj. it's like giving a moose a muffin.
why do married chicks ALWAYS cry after?
I swear, you have an app for that. "Attention: your boyfriend is pooping. Place call?"
My psychiatrist is "consulting" others. I am high-achieving nuts.
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
Just put a picture of dead dolphins on her wall...told her the oil spill was her fault.
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
we used the fire extinguisher you had been cuddling with to decorate the cop car while they were inside arresting everyone
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
Nothing says happy gameday like waking up in only an ACC Championship shirt in the qb's bed with a different football player
I got dropped off at my house at like 1030. Woke up hugging a street cat I've never seen before. Ended up drinking 260 oz of beer. 65 types. Then went out after blehhhhhh
Ya, It's probably because whenever I close my eyes I see a kitten playing a banjo.
Hi darlin, what are you doing tonight?
.... Things I will not be proud of
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