the thought of Anne Coulter teabagging Dick Cheney kills me everytime.
I almost didn't recognize her with a shirt on.
I feel like Captain Blackout doesn't do her justice. Brigadier General Blackout is much better.
she told me she sucks everyone's dick but mine because mine is too big and "hard to suck" i need to reevaluate the girls i fall in love with.
I've never heard a "this is the reason why i dont suck your cock" explanation go in that direction
The pet store wouldn't sell us fish because they said they could tell we were drunk.
Were you really trying to feed me potato chips while I was sitting on the toilet?
I think the taxi driver just requested me on facebook..... his name was george right?
She dumped a fish bowl of alcohol on herself. Just like flash dance.
He started doing the gator chop at my vag and said he couldn't wait to "chomp" on it later...and I still slept with him. I hate gainesville.
You slow clapped the stripper last night.
all time personal low: room service guy going "You want french fries AND onion rings???"
The best part about living in a college town is the annual rush of senior girls who want to get in their lesbian experiment before they graduate.
Would you think less of me if I said I was eating a toaster strudel in the bath.
Who's the naked guy asleep in your car?
Two guys I banged regularly got married this week. I need vodka.
Randomize
