He is such a gentleman, he paid for my plan b
Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
I can't get away from Pickles they're either stuck in me, in my mouth, or I'm stuck in one. fuck my whole entire life.
At one point I was double fisting both beer & ice cream. I love public events in this town.
Having never done that before, When should one expect the horrible shame to end? Days, months, ever?
A week or so, depending on size. In your case, maybe give it a month.
He was so drunk he was throwing the bowling balls into other lanes on purpose. He still beat my high score thought.
You're not supposed to support this behaviour, btw the judge recognized me
I'm proud of you, you were pretty classy last night, you didn't puke AND you didn't take off your shirt, except for those two times in the corner.
He should know he can't successfully wrestle in pudding fully clothed. Amateur.
Friends don't let friends put redi whip in their wine
you were holding her above your head singing Circle of Life in what i assume was a Simba reference. then she smacked her head on a bar light and the bouncers kicked you out
My fridge is empty and all of my food is in the bathtub. Just.. Why?
Literally sucked a dick for ten seconds before I said to myself, this tiny ass penis isn't worth it. My night last night
Definitely ended up doing Coke with Chewbacca in the porta potty behind the haunted house.
just so you know. the medical term for period cramps is mettelschmerz.
glad to know something that causes such misery in my life has such a laughable name.
Randomize
