i just bought a vibrator and the cashier says "have fun with that." i didnt realise what he said so i responded "you too." and then he gave me his number...
Waaait I'm alsleep in myt car somewhere
your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
This girl in the gym has an amazing body...too bad there's no workout routine for a face.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He told me about how he pissed his pants last weekend like it was a normal part of conversation. Within 10 minutes I was going home with him. I think he put me under some kind of spell.
Girl we've come a long way since our first Brazilian wax
He visits one Denver strip club and now hes moving there
Dude walks in wearing jean shorts and a graphic tshirt and goes home with an attractive female. EXPLAIN YOURSELF UNIVERSE.
When I'm famous, she'll look at her kids and go "I saw her buttcheeks beefore she was famous. I'm truly blessed."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why are there jello shots in the kitchen drawer?
The sex is great, I just think it'd be better if we listened to Deftones during it.
Your boobs stole my birthday thunder!
Well shove his head down there and tell him not to stop til we have a new president!
You're the air beneath my wings and the lookout when I pee
Just cuz you've got the biggest dick I've ever seen doesn't mean u can wake me up at 2 am
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