i think 'regret' was last night's theme. i could taste it in my mouth and woke up next to it.
im trying to pick out the cookie crumbs from my adderall. it is a lot harder than it seems.
we were wasted and he didn't have a condom so he called the front desk and asked for one. They didn't "officially" have them but the night manager happened to have one in his wallet. He brought it to the room with two mints.
she carries around a jar of peanut butter. "just in case".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
they duct taped my keg cup to my hand with my sister's phone number on it. I should be ok tonight.
so i finally decided to ask her out. she started mumbling, then she puked on me. i think i'll try again when she's sober
we boned then he told me that he had a thing for my gay roommate. worst night ever
she was talking at me constantly for like 20mins. i kept praying for a brain hernia but it kept not happening...
The bartender cut me off so I peed in the corner. How no one noticed I have no idea.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I ate all his french fries. He was no longer useful to me.
At least I made out with him before he made out with that dog...
On the way home there was a guy passed out IN the road on Colfax with his pants around his ankles, completely bare assed. If he was dressed as a speed bump, he succeeded.
you know that moment when all the alcohol kicks in and suddenly you realize the bar is very loud and you just want to bite someone sexy and ride their face i am kinda at that moment
On another note, I almost lost one side of my fake butt. Dancing the wobble with the fake butt isn't recommend.
It was great. Except he kept asking me to lick his butthole, I was like firm no
Randomize