I just needed to know whether or not to wear panties to work tomorrow.
When I asked if she spit or swallow she replied "I never learned how to spit"
Being a girl sucks.
Being a boyfriend sucks for about a week, too
You don't understand, alcohol has become a thing of survival for me and without it I can't function as a normal human being
Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
I've ID'd the nipple biter.
I just saw a fat chick ask the bartender to top her corona off with grenandine cuz she has a "sweet tooth" no that's diabetes fatty
You crawled through a doggy door 5 times for a shot if cheap vodka.
If she says "This is how acid feels" one more time I'm never trip-sitting them again.
Should i put up a tasteful banner for your party that says last chance to sleep with maya?
Do you have any pix of it limp? I wanna see the metamorphosis, like a cock caterpillar turning into a giant beautiful cock butterfly!
It just makes sense. It's like I end a relationship, and wash myself of sin... with tequila.
I don't blame you. I made YouTube videos of me singing Rent songs then slept with a married couple. Fucking tequila.
i just remembered i drunk watched the brave little toaster last night
I went with vodka instead of tequila tonight so I make better decisions. Fool proof plan.
Randomize
