The mystery has been solved. Seagulls have sex doggy-style.
You were wasted and fell in a pond when you met him, it's not like you were on top of your game
He's like Medusa, you can't look directly into his eyes or you'll turn into a slut.
Poking every semi-decent guy on Facebook in the hopes that one of them will want to hook up with me tonight. So far all i've accomplished is 5 new poke wars which i will most certainly continue after this weekend.
I'm all for hockey players but dude, he asked me to lick his chipped tooth mid-hook up.
There's green glitter on my nipple rings. #mardigras2013
wearing the bible to the ABC party, thought you'd appreciate that.
It makes showers more interesting trying to drink a gin and tonic and keep soap out of my eyes at the same time.
You need to calm down.
We just won 1800 at the casino and are going to the strip club. Who gives a fuck if it's 5pm
Blocking me on Facebook doesn't change the fact that you've had my penis in my mouth. So there's that.
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
I don't like how my gyno is telling me how to live my life.
I love you man but my hope is that you will not wake me up again by pissing on me
I had to give myself a suppository. That was the LEAST fun I've had inserting things in my ass.
oh dont worry mom i am not sick my cough is from a recent increase in recreational drug use
that will happen
Randomize
