I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
Is it sad I memorized the exact change required for a #7 at Wendy's?
new revelation: five guys for breakfast
new revelation: previous revelation not a good revelation
this text is just filler to avoid a lull in the conversation
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Am I the only one creeped out by the guy asleep behind our couch?
There's banana everywhere and your hamster may or may not have stayed the night in the microwave...
I did nothing besides stay sober all night, I walked home to find max naked knocking cups off the counter with his cock lol
Exactly. Motivated vaginas are the best kind of vagina
Um...It has come to my attention that I may have said some rather vulgar things about Sean Connery to you and anyone listening last night, so...I apologize for that. I meant the things I said. But still. Sorry.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I believe I can fly has to be one of the most inspirational songs of our time. Seriously R. Kelly nailed it
Then he went and peed on those teenagers.
I found three vicadin and a pint of fireball with the note. In case of emergency drink me under their sink.
I found him in the kitchen singing German metal into a banana while simultaneously mixing brownie batter. He didn't have any pants on.
Tbh I fell asleep cuddling a bag of Brazilian nuts. Franzia never dissappoints me
He's like a unicorn and I just wanna domesticate him
Turns out the grown up version of seeing your teacher shopping is seeing your therapist is on tinder
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