I had just got her shirt off when I realized that I was about to fuck Chewbacca from Star Wars. The way she moaned confirmed that I was.
That Joe Wilson reference just earned you a blow job, Mister!
good thing vaginas are great cup holders
So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
If I banged a coworker last night but didn't enjoy it can I put it down on my timesheet?
I know it sounds like a good idea, but doing Spanish homework at a bar just because the owners are Mexican and they give us margaritas really wasn't the best decision.
These eggs taste like chocolate chip cookies. This is the best hangover ever.
the ball fondling will be left out of the trip recanting
She's running around bumping into to people trying to keep a balloon she filled with vodka in the air. Please tell me she has a secret off switch you didn't tell me about.
Saw you fall down on Jefferson and a cop drove by and shook his head. How you didnt get arrested after the party you went to on saturday is beyond me.
Your friend, the one I told I would brush his teeth with my tongue, what's his name again?
She got up, grabbed me a box of gushers told me to start eating, and immediately gave me the best head I've ever gotten.
Whenever someone said no you would yell "Die Motherfucker." Kind of like some twisted drinking game.
I threw up soo much that I started crying. Then his grandma randomly came in and started rubbing my back...
Security showed up because apparently we were fucking too loud.
As your roommate I can attest that y'all do indeed fuck rather loudly
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