its not stalking. its research.
At what point did I decide it would be a good idea to fill my contact case with vodka
So I'm on the can right now reading a court transcript for an appeal. Some dude is paying $155 an hour for me to take a shit.
Random fact of the day: cum is a really good eye makeup remover
No... We were arguing over whose family is more dysfunctional... Then my brother stumbled in and puked all over jakes ugly dog.
The TA leading my study session just said "now get outta here. I need to get drunk before class"
You were holding up a boot and yelling boot gang
Go for gold. Two birds with one vag.
Nothing says love like couples STD testing
Nothing says breakup like the results
I just got into the cab. It smells like weed and the driver looks like someone who may or may not be really talented at playing the saxophone. He also asked me my thoughts on porn when I told him I'm an actor. I might not make it home.
I want to go out and have good clean fun.
Ok, but that does not include Bud Light Platinum and your vagina.
I just got winded making my bed. How do you think the workout plan is going?
I'm gonna give the church their tithe, and the rest is a down payment on boobs.
I have done everything sexualally imaginable with that umpalumpa
Do you think telling guys I'm majoring in magic is a good pickup line?
Randomize
