Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
dude. late night with jimmy fallon isnt even funny. the people in the audience there to see him dont even think hes funny.
kinda like you and your friends.
i've been fucking this guy since february and just found out he might be uncircumsized. currently google image searching to confirm.
Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
I'm having a chugging contest on the streetcar. The driver is judging.
Plus someone just passed me a joint through the window. BEST STREETCAR RIDE EVER
So can you tell me who's underwear is on the cat?
Did you really just use your nipple as a unit of measurement?
our conversations pretty much only consist of the phrase 'fuck you'. and the sex is fantastic. we've got a great thing going here.
So the bump is from hitting my head in an elevator. Apparently I dived into a cab head first too.....
I just gate-crahed a party and met a state senator, so I had an interesting afternoon jog.
So far I've taken two naps, went out and bought a pizza called the Hipster, and in 15 min I'm gonna make a snow angel. Conquering Snowlandia. How bout you?
Guy pissing in the corner in downtown Boston as his girlfriend is covering him up, yelling "relationship goals"
I get sad thinking about all the sex I’m missing out on because of the virus
I instituted “quarantine and chill” months ago. It’s not like penises go soft just because they’re working at home.
I got there and she was on her balcony drinking out of a bottle of vodka and smoking a cigar.
Drunk twilight is the only twilight
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