I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
I don't know how to say this, but I think you're a fucking bitch and the sooner you die I'll be happier.
Sorry- wrong number! :)
Okay you totally passed out. Ask me about the bike parking garage and the expired baby formula in the morning.
Make this decision based on your love for dick - NOT based on the fact that its probably one of the worst things you've ever thought of doing
in my defense, he kept drinking all of my water.
he had diabetes and you told him to stop being a pansy!
I. Put. Them. Back. We are NOT making a habit of jail visits.
woke up holding a soft boiled egg cup and empty bottle of rum. apparently i couldn't find a shot glass
Can I just skip the lesson I have planned for tomorrow and just teach my students about Prohibition using my impending hangover?
This is why american education is failing
Also food confession I ate an entire bag of starburst jelly beans today. and a plan B. All around think I hit all my nutrients
According to the arrest report, I shouted "no, YOU put some pants on" at the cop. Downhill from there.
If Denver makes it to the Super Bowl I'll quit drinking. So I'm pretty much stocking up on booze
Woke up to I'm AWESOME written in purple crayon all over my walls. I love drunk me
She was all for the threesome til I showed her a pic of my boyfriend. I think I should re-evaluate my life decisions.
Sitting on couch, workout sex makes me more sore than regular workout
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