So explain to me again how you wake up next to a Brazilian model and I wake up next to a turkey sub? And a jar of grey poupon.
TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad.
please stop referring to my baby as "your little fucker"
These shoes are like walking on sunshine and labias. So soft and squishy
My bed became a clown car for his family....I'm not ready to get married
I vaguely remember trying to exfoliate my face with your leg hair. Sorry about that.
Looking at an apartment in Houston. It's right beside my favorite bar and the zoo. Best or worst decision?
Caught in the act of lying. Lipstick literally all over his dick. He tried to make some story about darkwing duck or some shit but failed to realize he is a complete moron.
Yes and yes. Got taken to a Florida strip club. I desperately want to flood my eyes and ears with hand sanitizer right now.
Are you coming to class or was the dick pic this morning your way of saying not today?
I think id rather titty fuck an A cup than deal with what happened tonight again. shits depressing
Dude you spoke to a girl about CRICKET. She MUST want sex
I got outsmarted by a door tonight. Twice.
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