dude you need to get laid
me?
no, the other guy who hasn't been laid in 7 months
oh I thought you were talkin about me
wait
Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
Is it because I queefed?
she met some random, took his vcard, peed in his bed, left, and then requested him as her boyfriend on facebook
Don't ask how, but I'm pretty sure my name is now on a lease to a taco bell franchise in maryland...
Just saw some girl biking on campus with a babyseat on the front. Baby included. Do you know how many points that'd be worth?
yeah, its right past the deli mart where i showed my right tit for mozzarella sticks.
I need to shower, but I have no shower curtain... I think I can get by with a whore bath and a hat for one more day.
Man, I wish they all looked like that. Your vagina deserves to have a nice frame around it, and God's signature at the bottom.
There was probably a tattoo above her soulless vagina that read 'it's a trap!' Yet you ignored it
I woke up in Brittany's thong, Tony's shirt, and an oven mitt
there's cocaine on the ipad again........... was your sister here last night?
Which sister was it? The one I accidentally hit when my shoe flew off or the one I ate candy off of when we were high?
"Because this is an ongoing legal matter" is how his morning after sex text began. So...
WE JUST PASSED A FUCKING SPACE SHIP! NOT JOKING! A REAL FUCKING SPACE SHIP! THIS IS NOT THE DRUGS! SPACE! SHIP!
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