Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
We walked in and they were fucking to Somewhere Over the Rainbow... I need a new roommate.
I am moving slowly w him. I havent even masturbated to him yet.
That's terrible. At least give it a creative name like muff mobile.
It'll be like a meth lab. But with jello.
Were not alcoholics, were just impatient for fridays
I just baptized the girl next to me. LONG LIVE THE CHURCH OF VODKA
what's the appropriate greeting for someone whose bed you've had sex with someone else in?
I inadvertently smoked 6 blunts at one time. We just kept passing them around...I didn't know what happened until it was over. I can't walk.
I mean, that's eating your cake and fucking it too.
I don't think the TSA would be too happy. Who knows if three ounces of lube will be enough for us?
I would say I miss her friendship, then I remember that she gave 4 guys the clap. I'm good.
He fell asleep during FOREPLAY. Sober!!!
Im outta here as soon as my phone charges wtf
I was doing handstands in the jail cell and crying “IM A HIGH SCHOOL TEACHER AND IT’S CHRISTMAS EEEEEVE”
Randomize
