that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
i have my graded calc test (94%) sitting on my empty case of beer next to my desk. this is me winning at college.
Just so you know there's a random man downstairs knocking on a door with a dozen roses and a 30 pack of beer. Unattractive or not, I'm inviting him in.
I feel like I have African malaria. I just remembered singing Teenage Dream in full to that biker couple at the bar.
You turned to me, winked, whispered "man the harpoons" and walked out with the fat chick
I found your doppelganger. same hair, eyes, personality, catch phrases, and penis. it was mind-boggeling.
blowjobs from left handed girls are noticably better than from righties. these are the most important things I've learned this semester
I wanna just rip ass and see his reaction but i bet itd be better to shatter that illusion when hes drunk
Only you would have a vasectomy while you're awake and report on the soundtrack first
So I can officially say that someone has licked whipped cream off my nipples. Go senior year
I've turned into a small time drug dealer, now who's the real MVP.
How drunk was I last night?
You tried to unlock a door with your dick. That drunk.
Not the explanation for the cock bruise that I was looking for.
I don't know why this person would ask for help. It sounds pretty OK to me. Also, I'd steal those bagpipes.
Randomize
