I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
she just made a shot glass out of magazine paper. I love her.
why is it whenever you puke in the park there are always little kids on the swings?
That's why you NEVER put anything a stripper gave you in your mouth
And he was super vague about his life, it was frustrating. I totally boned a homeless guy, didn't I?
I just stole a cupcake from somebody's bottle service
And I got $4 when somebody made it rain.
Since when do you have sex with people you have feelings for?
Dude you don't understand. I genuinely felt his soul's penis in my soul's vagina.
STOP LICKING HIS MUSTACHE
Poorly worded request for dick pic resulted in stoned beanie selfies and "lol". Miscommunication is the devil's cock block.
literally 50% of my time being 20 has involved my genitals thus far
Let's just says his mouth writes a lot of checks that his penis just can't cash. Don't waste your time.
She said she was hoping I'd be hotter. I told her I didn't see anybody standing in line to titty fuck her either. She was a great kisser.
Acid king. Jackson puked a lot. Promoter booth. Angry security. No acid. Probably a good thing.
So I've already made 5 bad decisions today, wyd?
I dont pretend to understand how the heterosexual mind works. Its a mysterious cavern of stupidity and disgusting sexual acts.
Randomize
