Yea, forget your mom. She will be home after her one night stand.
You know what, matt, a girl is not really that interested in a relationship if she goes down on you the first time she meets you
Holy fuck. She looks like Vin Diesel's stuntman
My T9 text prediction thing keeps predicting every next word is going to be "midgets".
he rubbed his balls on my face to wake me up.. this friends with benefits thing is getting out of hand.
Im trying to find an appropriate gift to your mom for getting both you and your sister on birth control within a week, any suggestions?
You've had your dick in my mouth. I don't think there are all that many barriers in our friendship at this point.
Am I the only one that feels like there are hundreds of tiny people having a rave and stomping and kicking around inside my head this morning?
She was the shot vending machine at the party. But free.
Well, I made it thru a doorway, so I think things are going good.
He wants to make me arch my back "like I'm having an exorcism". Not sure if I'm turned on or freaked out.
I fell out of the car while it was moving then got puked on then puked and cried about then got back in the car and puked out the window when we started moving again
Vodka Red Bull is like your spinach if you were Popeye
Damn that brownie almost kicked my ass. I'm not sure if my flight home lasted 10 minutes or 10 days..
Despite evidence suggesting otherwise, it turns out max is 100%straight.
Randomize
