the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
I've hooked up with three guys in my accounting class. I'm beginning to think my teacher failed me so I can start getting laid again.
was just hit on by a homeless lesbian. forever alone.
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
Apparently as I was doing the walk of shame home my dad's date was on her way to hers. hoes come in all ages these days
Theres a guy in your room wearing a franzi box costume and some girl is in the box giving him head.
i was beyond wasted so he tucked me into bed and wrapped the blankets around me like a burrito. then gave me a bloody mary and an omlet when i woke up. and who says living with your cousin is a bad thing?!
He just got dropped off drinking a flask, sitting on the handlebars of a chinese delivery man's bike
Tonight's gonna be epic. Did he bring my noodles?
They never prepare you for how broke ur gonna be in college. I just accepted money from two underage girls at a gas station to buy them beer only because I'm trying to figure out a way to run off with it without them noticing.
Dude, use it to buy them beer. Then run the beer to ur car as fast as you can and bring it to the party. Seriously, we're running out of booze over here
Hit a new low. I'm FB stalking him while he is lying in bed sleeping naked next to me. He fell asleep with FB still open and unlocked on his iPad.
I wore a bird inflatable and still got laid. So there's that.
He offered me a trade. He'll come sober to my parents 25th anniversary dinner if I let him tie me up for an hour.
Update. bondage is a lot harder than it looks.
He asked the waiter, at 6:40 am, drunk, if they served alcohol. After he said no, he's like 'well, I guess we can eat then.'
My lack of taco bell is hindering me from seeing the good part of that situation
Randomize
