OMFG BINX FROM HOCUS POCUS IS MCGEE IN NCIS!!!!!!!! most. epic. realization. ever.
Woke up this morning 8 levels higher in Call of Duty then when I started drinking... told you I was better when I was drunk.
Trying to guess which perfume the stripper was wearing based on my bf's clothes
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
Oh shit. There are penis maracas
I specifically found a fat girl to lift me up on her shoulders.\n\nIt was glorious.
I decided not to eat, and then this man was my fairy " don't black out" godmother
Why is there a water bottle full of red wine on my desk this morning?
See you tonight.
Why did I puke in my shower caddy last night
I just rode a horse than walked onto my property in boarshorts, flip flops, and holding a 40. What do I win?
I have 80 very blurry photos of you on a stripper pole...
So? Find me, fuck me, then you can go to sleep and I'll leave.
Wow. That's the most amazing thing anyone has ever said to me.
My mother just set me up with the son of the man I fucked last weekend. I could crawl under a rock and die OR I could remember the rules of genetics and hope that JR takes after daddy. Wish me luck...
Its nights like last night that make me want to high five my liver.
I can’t believe the first text I’m sending you from this phone was about how I just got fingered in a smart car on tin can hill
Randomize
