he was like Britney Spears in bed.. a little chubby and too medicated to perform.
I think "bars open christmas minneapolis" is the saddest google search i've ever done.
she named each of the players on the last ten madden covers in order and then shotgunned 2 beers...if she doesnt have a penis im in love
I just found out my mom named me after her fake ID from college...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just say its a British thing. They wont know Its not. And if they say you're not British, proposition them for a post-sex game of cricket.
This shit I'm taking feels like I've eaten every burrito in the world and chased that with an aquarium of hot sauce.
How bad is the voicemail?
You graded my boobs.... C minus. Asshole.
Was having a panic attack, but I'm out of xanax. Substituting with vodka shots and breathing exercises. My therapist will be proud, yes?
of course we have a beer bong
how else would we feed our christmas tree
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't care how fucking drunk you are, you don't forget wanting to shove a wine bottle up someone's ass.
Ehhh, contemplating pain killers and fruit snacks if that's any indication.
Wanna know what sucks. Banging the bosses daughter at work and having the boss walk in while you are fucking on his desk. Good day though. Made 6 sales
I didn't know how wild the party was going to be until one girl brought her pet raccoon
You’re welcome stay at my house. But, you gotta piss in the toilet
Being single again makes you realize how guys can go from licking your asshole one night to never texting you again
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