just threw up while drinking by myself. This is all your fault. You here = a good night, You not here = alcoholism
His text read: Sex? I replied: Not drunk enough. He bought 4 more rounds and tantalized me with the offer pizza later. This could be the beginning of a beautiful relationship.
I caved and texted him. But it's strictly drug dealing business so it doesn't count.
i could totally date him if i was just drunk the whole relationship
it was like a zeppelin in a condom
She just rubbed her face all over pool chalk. I feel like it's time to go
I can't wait till you move in so I can stop drinking alone.
it's a Wednesday?
:)
I'm at the point in my life where I'm trying to get guys I've fucked to give a ride to guys I'm going to fuck.
I feel like that needs to be the last time i end a text with "fuck them i love tequila".
But once you explained how to fill cupcakes with semen I realize you were harmless and right on my level.
Well sort of got busted by a cop while having sex outside, so your call
Just bought a colored water bottle so my classmates can be so judgemental when I bring beer to class.
He smacked my ass so hard my ass cheek looks like Wilson from Cast Away
we fucked in the backseat of my car at the observatory, right under the stars. it was a starry, orgasmic filled night
I think I should've done my makeup before I took the acid. Because now I just feel silly looking at myself in the mirror
Randomize
