she was drooling, sharted in her sleep, rolled over stuck her hand under the covers pulled it back out, smelled it and moaned and rolled back over. i almost added puke to the disgusting bodily fluid category.
To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
im using old socks as coasters. im going to make a great housewife.
U offered to motor boat her and it somehow turned into u two going on a sunset cruise in Newport. At 3am.
Also, I found out that my dad has the name of every boy that I've ever dated and their physical description, car type and tag number stored in his computer.
Apparently Angela went missing once and he says he learned were to look first and that it's best to have information on hand.
Did u know it's unconstitutional to turn down a shot during 4th of July celebrations.. Rest now dear liver
Pedi-lyte stocked
He kept sending me videos of his dogs while I was trying to masturbate. At what point does getting vagina-block apply?
I know this is a weird question but we both had pants on when my mom woke us up last night right?
I did cocaine off my boobs last night. Then I wrote two essays and went on a run. Go me
I'm at the back whiskey bar with a 7 and 7 in a winnie the pooh costume. Come find me.
I'm still not 100% sure who I'm sleeping with
Have you ever eaten pizza and gotten your dick sucked at the same time? Because I have pizza.
I found a hair colour I want in a porn.
So apparently I tried texting you last night to tell you I wasn't coming home, but all I had typed were lyrics from Evita
I'm a mess. I mean I almost got off but I'm a fucking rubics cube down there so il givenhim the point
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