lets have sex before this no shave november shit gets outta hand.
Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
Good ideas don't start with we have a bottle of vodka..
went for icecream. accidentally deepthroated it. my mom gave me a dirty look, but the kid behind the counter looked impressed
How's work?
Spinning.
I do. There's a bald headed guy whose kinda hot. I might rub his head. I've only had 2 beers
There are only families here. I'm at the bar alone double fisting drinks. You cannot get any more approachable than I am now.
Blood and glitter go together right?
The problem with Wednesday evening drinking is that no gets to my level. It's like like a one man party. But it's a goood party.
I have a new favorite bar game. It's called, get dressed up and go drinking alone then make up random stories of why you are alone to look less like an alc
He picked me up in the very car he devirginized me in, his moms toyota.
note to self: do not snort crushed up caffeine pills in the bathroom by yourself when ur super shit faced, ur face will fucking hate you in the morning.
Do you think the police would frown on me opening a psych drug pharmacy on the side? Just to dispose of my drugs without polluting the water supply! It is for the animals!
I have 2 phone numbers written on my vagina. I told you I shouldnt be left to my own devices after tequila shots.
So, I can officially cross "getting eaten out in a church confession booth" off my bucket list.
Randomize
