sorry i'm running a bit late. had to shave my brittney...was looking more like rapunzel. clearly i've been having a drought.
im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
Its not christmas eve unless I give him head. I wont take no for an answer
Do you think a former stripper/heroin addict constitutes as a high risk sexual partner?
WTF YOU SHOULDNT BREAK A SWEAT TAKING A SHIT. MY BODY HATES ME.
I just discovered I can sober up while teaching class
PS: when I ask you if I look fat in a a dress DO NOT TAKE YOUR SWEET ASS GAY TIME to formulate an answer only to tell me in front of our family that perhaps I should buy Spanx. Do you WANT me to tell mom and dad you suck cock? Then be a good brother and have the common decency to LIEEEEEE!!!!
i told him I'd let him eat part of a weed cookie out of my cleavage, so he pulled over like a gentleman.
He won't have sex to beyonce. I hate him.
girl pulled up to the stop sign, got out, threw up all over my hood said happy thanksgiving then drove off
Literally had a conversation with the pizza as to why it was a bad idea to reach in the back seat and grab a slice while driving. The pizza was right, it was safer to just wait until I got home.
What is more embarrassing, shitting yourself in Mexico or having sex in a forest preserve with a 19 yr old? This is crucial research.
Shooting a bottle rocket from my penis was entirely justified. Twenty bucks is twenty buck no matter how you look at it
Made out with some dude at the bar last night. Was fun until he thought bohemian rhapsody was by The Who
I literally heard an 'oh my god' when the shirtless Tongan appeared.
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