i just realized that no matter how many potstickers i eat, i will never be asian
you wrote "5 million dollars" in the tip line for the pizza delivery man and insisted that he deserves it
She's allergic to latex.
Lucky bastard.
Thanks for putting the blue stuff in the toilet, it made me throwing up this morning more enjoyable.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he actually said the words "do you want to pet the lizard?" with a straight face as he unzipped his pants
Fourth time I had to be woken up in the line of Whataburger in two weeks. First time my shirt was free of vomit.
Party at my house. Beach themed. Clothing optional.
Wouldn't that make it "Nude Beach Themed?"
Well, I plan on starting the night dressed as little red riding hood. Then I plan on finishing the night dressed as a shit show in a red cape.
You don't understand she was in the fountain pretending she was diving for treasure. I couldn't possibly ruin her dreams.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
I woke up in my living room, on the floor, wearing nothing but a fur coat?
Sorry I couldn't make it...got a scrambled voicemail, all I heard was "Bring the dildo"
Left Las Vegas at 2:30 am, woke up at 11 AM at a Barstow gas station with the Valet from Ceaser' palace snoring in the backseat and no memory of how we got there. I felt like Raoul Fucjing Duke right then and there.
One sec I was having the time of my life, the next I was shitting water
Blueberry probiotics greatly increase to the masturbation experience. Try it dude. It’s all the rage
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