If they ask for a stool sample we r no longer friends.
he cried for an hour, then he threw up on my lap then started singing party in the usa...opera style...
Dude you can sell sperm for 100 to 250 bucks a time. And the best part is there will be kids all over the world that will have me as a daddy. It's like I'm jerking off my way into ruling the world
having my hair in braids makes puking so easy. i am being an indian every halloween
I was just counting ceiling tiles when he ate me out, it was that bad.
i'm behind the bar giving him a hand job. i need stuff to make my foot stop itching.
okay, this is where i needed to clarify that i was kidding before when i said that jizz helps mosquito bites. but let me know how that goes. for future reference.
It wasn't until I took a shit, that I remembered that you assholes started spiking my shots with tobasco when I wasn't looking last night. Dicks.
you puked on the porch, i can see your jacket on the floor next to your underwear. i know your home, unchain the door, you're the worst roommate ever.
No more jager for that guy. He jacked the neighbor kids big wheel, rode around making jet noises, then passed out behind the wheel and rolled it and broke his wrist
Is cat milk safe for human consumption?
Twist to Josh's story, he had a gyro in his hand and never dropped it even after he got knocked the fuck out
being single and having a boyfriend 300 miles away is eerily similar. never skipped a beat eating hot wings in my bed with no pants or masturbating every day.
I wanna say I regret bonging a beer while having sex with Mike, but it helped me get thru it.
It's now officially the Christmas season, so I have no shame in drinking evernog.
First morning at school this semester and I threw up in a bush during my walk of shame.
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