its freezing days like this when i seriously consider littering to speed up the global warming processes.
Weird shit dude, I just realized that the girl I fucked last night looks like Shaun White's twin sister. I dunno if I should be scared or turned on
I hope her Double McTwist was as good as his
season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
Seeing a catheter being inserted into a penis severely diminished my sex life
I'm walking down the street with a Starbucks in one hand and a flask in the other. People seem to have a staring problem
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
Biggest penis I've ever pity fucked
I'm buying drugs in the library...And it's not even finals time. What has my life become?
Dude, she's the greatest salesman alive. she convinced chelsea to buy a box of Cheerios for $20. She can find your dick some willing pussy.
It's like a challenge who can be the biggest embarrassment to the family. I win 80% of the time.
Is there a particular reason why everyone is now calling you Butt Doctor?
The fake number she gave me was for Pappa John's. Now I have a large pepperoni on the way.
The moment buddy the elf found out he was human is exactly like the moment I realized I was gay
There were 7 of us cowering in the kitchen because you were swinging a giant, pink double headed dildo around like a nunchuk and hitting anyone who came near you with it.
DESTROY DICK DECEMBER\nTHE SUN SHINES ON THE THIRSTY
Randomize
