wow wtf my bar tab was 80 dollars
IT WAS DOLLAR BEER NIGHT
After we had sex, she played this little piggy with my toes
The walk of shame has never felt more glorious... I think it's the somberero
so then they started chanting "LET'S GET A LITTLE BIT SCHWASTED. S-H-W-...WASTED!" theres nothing like partying with former high school cheerleaders
Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
In the middle of getting a blow job, she looked up at me and said "this isn't the first time I've done this today"
I feel like everything I touch in this bar I'm gonna get hepatitis. my kinda joint
Just slept with a female bodybuilder. not cute. but it was like fucking hulk hogan with a twat. Beastly.
im so disgusted with myself. funny thing was i lasted 15 seconds. she benches 325
the tv said "its small, its comfortable..." and i started laughing... safe to say he lost any dignity he had left...
We've been walking through the woods for two hours, he just keeps taking pictures. At least we'll remember this tomorrow.
You need a sexual gate keeper
Good news: you're over the drunk crying life phase. Bad news: now you're handy and violent. You were groping me from behind in front of the guy you like, then you put me in a headlock and swept the leg.
In case you were wondering how drunk I was last night, there was an unopened slim Jim in front of my door and I ate it.
slept at my ex’s house last night and as i was leaving his brother was sitting there on the sofa and said “bet you regret that one don’t ya”
You laid on the floor and pet their rug. and then demanded Voss water.
Randomize
