38 yer olds are good kisserssss
So I'm cool with the whole break up, but it sure is a shame we didn't get to use those handcuffs.
I can't finish this paper in my room because every time I get distracted I start masterbating. I think it's time to go to the library...
I wish I could donate my sober boners to my whiskey dick
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the guy was wearing a viagra shirt, i knew what i got myself into.
Just asked the bartender if I could use the register to see my grades.
Yeah well my vagina has expectations too but they don't get met all the time.
I'm currently looking on facebook to see how slutty the girls from my kindergarden class are now. I have a problem.
Girl at work pointed out that the blood vessels around my eyes were all popped and I smell like puke
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm starting a point system. For every 2 beer runs i do for u slackers i get a free bottle of Barefoot.
arnt you supposed to become a mature adult when you move out of your parents house?
Moving out doesnt mean I'm mature, it means I can make pancakes and bacon at 3 in the morning and no one can judge me.
I just talked this guy out of hooking up with me and gave him relationship advice. Am I a good person now?
I wish I got like a congrats basket for being a responsible sexually active member of society complete with condoms, tissues and lollipops.
How'd your date go last night?
Well I blacked out at 1:30 and woke up naked in not-my-date's bed with an uneaten Jimmy John's sandwich.
He howled at the moon then told me that if i were a dog he'd have sex with me...either i look like that girl or i need to stop going on blind dates. Period.
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