Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
She soaked the fruit in vodka for ten minutes and then mixed it with normal fruit and sherbert icecream. It was called "lottery fruit".
I just dumped out my gym water bottle and filled it with white wine. This is the end.
I had some like war flashbacks of giving someone a handjob and i was trying to figure out who it was.
So last night I learned something new. Whenever I drink beer out of a bottle a random guy buys me another one. It was like as soon as the glass hit my lips every guy in a 20ft radius got a hard on.
I don't even fuck like that, he just happened to be in the right place at the right drunk.
Today I left one job interview, showed up randomly at his house for a midday bootycall then left right after to attend my second job interview. I got both jobs
Two women at the Safeway just got out of their separate cars and kissed. One was driving an outback, the other a CRV. It was like a Honda and Subaru had a lesbian joint venture and filmed the commercial in front of me.
I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.
Let's go get coffee and handcuffs.
I'll take "things you shouldn't say to a guy you just met in a bar" for 100!
Don't be offended, the only thing I'm attracted to right now is snack cakes and chicken wings.
Like who turns down taking a nap inside of someone in 2014.
My talents include parallel parking and over reacting about absolutely everything.. And drinking..
Since when is my clitoris pierced?
Randomize
