I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
we've reached the level in our friendship where i don't think he would rape me
Why do my orgasm prompt her to begin using babytalk EVERYTIME?!
last night he was wasted watching Entourage and changed everyone in his phone book to LLOYD!!!!
Whenever someone from high school gets pregnant or has a pregnancy scare my self esteem grows a good 5 points
Found her with a stray dog now called champagne, crying about how she feels a mom now. Had to take her home. The dog too.
I asked for a steak knife but the waitress could see in my eyes it was a bad idea
I think your dick broke my retainer, I normally wouldnt care but my orthodontist died and I don't want my first appt to be blow job broken retainer with a new ortho.
Yeah.. I'm sorry I broke your phone. But in my defense you handed me the frying pan.
I just realized that every possible way I walk to campus I walk by the house of someone I slept with
We were fucking in the boat on the lake when another boat saw us and honked their appreciation.
I can't believe I haven't fucked an Elvis impersonator yet.
We are best friends because we can vomit simultaneously in the same toilet and not care
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