I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
it was like the sexual equivalent of when Wilson fell off the raft and floated away
in the middle of it he kept shouting: im going to be masturbating to this for the rest of my life
I wonder sometimes what your vagina thinks about you.
It was beyond pathetic. You yelled her name at every blonde chick we saw hoping it would be her. Then you puked your corn dog
This is the weirdest negotiation ever.
This is what happens when two people with zero shame try to argue.
Every time you started making out for him we all cheered for you... that's what sorority sisters do - they cheer you on when you make bad life decisions at the bar.
I don't get it. Why have babies when you can have vodka?
I just bought a bottle of lube for my car.
I'll probably just end up banging you in your parents marital bed,in their honor of course.
Can't. I'm doing shots with my mom.
Getting so old my power naps are turning into, "can I reasonably just go to bed at this time?"
Dude I got in an Uber this morning and he goes “I drove you last night”\n“You got your dick sucked in the back seat”
I just upped my southern womanhood. Taking whiskey and Kleenex pocket packs to the funeral.
Randomize
