I just saw the girl you left with - Chris Hansen's looking for you
apparently the secret to your success is patron
i just witnessed two asians having sex for the first time ten feet away from me..hes having a seizure..what the duck is going on???
this text is just filler to avoid a lull in the conversation
Wrote my name backwards on the test and asked for extra credit points. Late start booze days are my new favorite thing.
I'll have you know my trust issues and my daddy issues are two COMPLETELY different topics of conversation.
I gave you the craziest sex experiences of your life, the least you could do is let me keep the sweater.
Not much, just taking another sorting hat quiz while waiting for this porno to finish buffering
I just took a service station dump so foul I had to buy gas out of guilt
We were in bed, and he looked at me and asked if I'd be weirded out if he took his leg off. BEST.SEX.EVER.
Hmmm, well all I'm saying is don't do anything too irrational because you miss him and are blinded by his large penis.
Ok next time we are filming it. You bring the camera and I'll buy more socks
Oh my fucking god!! There is a barefoot white guy with a fucking ninja sword in the middle of the street next to the pride gas station swinging his sword at peoples cars!! He almost got me. 3 people swerved off the road and stopped. I told a cop.
The air taste purple.
You know it's a good May 2-4 when it involves 14 straight hours of vodka slush and garlic bread
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