This isn't the rejection hotline, is it?
I did the seizure Bad Romance dance again last night, didn't I?
you were really good actually. your skill is increasing over time
Tell me you remember me getting a tampon from the girl throwing up in the next stall
I got to find out the airplane alcohol limit, and somehow I made it through the flight.
She wasn't to happy when she went to put her shirt on and it was covered in cum I just looked at her and said collateral damage....
Do not shit in our house. There is no TP. I am walking to get more, if I do not return, I have probably died of dysentery after my last wagon wheel got stuck in a gulch. Tell Martha and Lou Ann that I love them, and that I passed away doing the Lord's work.
I send out my deepest condolences for seeing my ass last night.
I just came inside of a Gatorade bottle. That hungover.
We don't watch enough power rangers
I think now I understand why people say my penis is pretty.
I don't understand why she gets annoyed by my drunk texts. It means she's who I'm thinking about even when my brain isn't functioning properly.
Hey douche face I just want you to know, if you ever got hit by a bus, I'd really miss you.
Only if you died obviously.
How much do souls cost? I feel like I need one if those.
I don't know what else is in your wedding gift, but I just pulled out a pair of handcuffs in front of her grandmother.
Also a whip and a blindfold. Don't be a bitch, enjoy it!
I just don't understand what you plan on accomplishing there except for losing all vestiges of post-freshman year dignity
Randomize
