help me. he won't leave me alone. he just licked my ear and he's so drunk. get him off me. we're in the closet. help.
my mom just informed me that i masturbate loudly
So.. My internet got red-flagged at work because i did a search on "midigit strippers las vegas" This may be hard to explain...
Managed to convince my mom that I had been home for 3 hours sleeping on the couch downstairs and this t-shirt was your dads. I am SUCH a fucking boss.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He's coming over for beer and a movie, but I just don't know if he's interested.
Pathetic and sad. I should come over there and fuck both of you just to get the ball rolling.
You passed out while holding my hair during a blow job.. i think your gona have to earn back blow jobs
No, I know her type. Tall, lanky, uses teeth when giving head, and runs like a giraffe. Don't do it man..
How do you explain to a guy that he's like a little puppy dog that you play with, but then leave at the shelter to go home to your German Shepard?
We were in his kitchen and she turned to me with a straight face and an avocado in her hand and said "Can we steal this?"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was like 10 tiny penises being shoved in my vagina.
Booty called 3 guys from my hospital bed
I just need to get a little drunker before I realize I'm not straight
Because I chose to live vicariously through your uterus and you're letting me down right now.
He took a shit in my shoe. A part of me is livid and a part of me is impressed because that’s some real evil genius.
Last night’s booty call turned into a cuddlefest. Get your game face on, we’re hunting dick tonight
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