can't wait for January to be Over so I don't have to see all the fat resolutionists working out.
Wow. Thanks for becoming another fan of something on Facebook. You make me want to gouge my eyes out.
Convinced the domino's pizza delivery person to go to shaws and buy me a bottle of wild turkey. For america.
Can't promise anything, there's vodka in my thermos
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I refuse to apologize. Any dick that comes that close to my face uninvited is gonna get bit
Strike three, the fat brides maid they call shit puker also has herpes.
Ok here's the state of the situation: We're alone in a strange city with strange people with nothing but alcohol and sprite, I think we're gonna make it.
If we can put a man on the moon, I'm sure we can turn a pringles can into a bong.
I accidentally kneed him in the balls while trying to straddle him so we ended up spending the night watching ffm porn online
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got "plug" during family Catch Phrase and struggled to not make a reference to butt plug so I skipped it
The dog just shocked himself by peeing on Christmas lights, should I have saw that coming?
watching spice world high feels so wrong yet so right
It’s easy for me to be professional, the tough part is finding the perfect amount of bitchy undertone
What use have I for dignity? It just get's in the way of the really fun stuff.
she glued two packs of googly eyes on you while you were blacked out. We talked her out of using her hot glue gun.
ummmm thanks
Randomize