you ate skittles off the table like a hungry hungry hippo. it was awesome.
She showed me her prom dress from 2001, which still had her date's cum stain on it.
Oh, so that's why you call her jizzarella....
We had to put his head at the bottom of the driveway so the puke would run down. Now he's sleeping outside.
I think he thought he was a gentleman because he bought me the most expensive plan b at cvs
Mmmhmmm sure, nice try, but there's certain wounds that only bj's can heal
She got a digital picture frame for her birthday. FINALLY - a place for me to sneak all those penis shots I've taken with my iPhone.
Based on the pics I have taken of hookups while they were passed out or sleeping, I have scientifically concluded that no two vagina lips are the same. They are like snowflakes.
There are regrets in my world today- mostly jager at that fucking altitude
She apparently grabbed another girl and pulled her into the shower fully clothed. When the girl was like "you need to stop" she curled up into a ball and refused to leave.
Whoa, you know how to pick em.
Im making gravy in a lace bra and jeans. Just call me the southwern wet dream
It's a delicate game of how much porn can I look at without the other interns noticing.
The ideal thing to do next party is to tape my boobs down so they don't knock over the pong cups while playing defense. They came back to hurt us this time
grandma made pot brownies .. oh god bless us everyone
Now i know i wasnt that drunk... So why are there texts of me volunteering for a nude photo shoot for an art major student?
You spilled your drink, and we laughed so hard my boobs popped out of my shirt.
Randomize
