i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
There is no point in being painfully greyhound thin if you are then going to dress like it's raining in 1992.
I was doing the dishes wondering what was with all the tiny little cups, but then I remembered that some people drink things other than huge mixed drinks and big cups of water the next day.
Peeing in public by noon, this is not a good indicator for the day.
THERE IS THE SEXIEST BEARDED MAN HERE. I CAME EVERYWHERE.
Dude they have your information. Come back. The sheriffs office is here, they are pissed..please come back otherwise jail is inevitable. Call me
The black hole just entered the party man, I can literally see guys starting to move towards her.
Nothing says "I mean business" like using a cart at the liquor store.
if I open my eyes, my head will explode. that hungover.
Trevor is horny so he just called me to tell me all the things that he would like to do with his future wife. That's a new one.
what are you going as for halloween?
drunk, naked, & emotionally unstable
He's the first man I've met that knows more about Harry Potter than I do. He shops at Goodwill and has a Game of Thrones cookbook in his apartment. This is my soulmate.
I just did the math technically I'll be drunk until 2:30-3:00pm
At least get laid and waffle fries out of it you whipped basterd
Randomize
