Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
i just made my mom cry by blowing spit bubbles.
Yep just saw a license plate that read "taint 2" which implies there is a "taint 1". Only in Florida
You got ahold of his prescription papers and gave out prescriptions for cranberry and vodka
what kind of dress can i wear to my high school reunion that says "even though i'm more successful than all of you i'm still up for sex"?
I actually had no interest in him until he started talking about his 4 arrests. That made him go from a 5 1/2 to a 8, easily.
I fucked him in a hamburger. literally. he has a hamburger bed.
I just want a better ending for myself. Not walking around with one sock on and my bush hanging out.
I mean I'm forever immortalized as the one who puked in his dad's straw hat.
drinking out of a sandbucket again
all of the sudden, the other guy at the bar who was celebrating his birthday got a super inspired look on his face and then screamed at me ''our parents fucked on the same day!''
She was mid-sentence and then BOOM the hammock broke off the tree. I about pissed myself. Hot Sprite and Vodka make the world go round.
I like to think I'd be good at dodging genitalia.
A girl in McDonalds just asked if I was in here wasted a few nights ago throwing fries at the staff, I said it was my twin
We both know that wasn't me
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