i'm having a wet tshirt contest with myself and yet i'm still losing
you googled " I want to buy a live ostrich". I'd say you were pretty wasted.
i just made an omelette with the cheese and ham from a lunchables. and ketchup packets
julia child would be proud.
im so poor im using the bottom of my laptop to heat my food.
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
Cavemen vs astronauts. weapons to be determined. Who would win?
the tv said "its small, its comfortable..." and i started laughing... safe to say he lost any dignity he had left...
Look if 10 am was too early to go barrel tasting the winery would not be open.
And now for everyone's least favorite sport... Drunk babysitting.
I'm going to text my booty call and tell him nevermind, that I got the job finished by myself. That will teach him to text back faster.
This lesson is brought you by a psychology class.
I sang "A Whole New World" while I took his virginity
That is awesome that you did that.
So hungover. Walked into room and poached their catering before realized in wrong place. Scowled and ate it anyway
Her rack rivals that of the deer I shot last season. You need to get after that.
I can't sleep. My mind keeps asking "turn down for what?" but it won't accept any of my answers.
I don't know why this person would ask for help. It sounds pretty OK to me. Also, I'd steal those bagpipes.
Randomize
