I'm currently googling how to make a dress out of a trash bag. It's going to be a great night.
i really like this girl i slept with last night
you ask her out again?
yeah but she said she is busy next weekend getting married
i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
i popped this huge zit on her back while she was blowing me. it was like a disgusting metaphor for what happened 30 seconds later.
Just threw up in airport security. Happy holidays.
I'm not sure where but someone shit somewhere in the house
he yelled at me for calling the fat girl fat. if I can't call out fat girls to my brother who do i have?
Look at my fb. It says single. That's the gospel.
I just stole some rubbers from the girl I stayed with last night so I can use them on a different girl today..
No. Dude. I didn't knoe it eas floibg to move. It's slepprru ixuy!
He started yelling "you tha man!" while I was reverse cowgirl
My girlfriend is talking to my ex-boyfriend at the bar right now. I REPEAT, GIRLFRIEND IS TALKING TO EX BOYFRIEND RIGHT NOW. GET ME THE FUCK OUT OF THIS PLAACE
I know that whole thing was awkward. Not worth the piece of cake.
I tried to fuck you in my bathroom while my parents were in the next room. I am a clusterfuck of fun.
What should I list for life skills
How about home wrecking? You’re excellent at that
Hmm...that is a life skill in Southern California
Randomize
