this girl literally referred to her butthole as her "back pussy"
its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.
walking in back of a girl wearing booty shorts, a halter and a bracelet that says trainwreck. I don't get it. The first day of nice weather and all the whores come out, are they like hibernating bears or something?
He waited til after we had sex to tell me he had herpes... Ugh I hate being drunk
Theres a truck parked on the front yard and i just want to take this opportunity to tell you now that it is not my fault.
I'm just concerned it's gonna end up in my vagina again
We bonded over the fact that we each, separately, got arrested on the same weekend.
i think he spiked my sandwich with a viagra
I DMed the cop that arrested me to come unlock my keys out if my car today
The shrooms have turned on carrie. Change of plans. We're getting stoned and finding bacon.
Also your Swedish friend who's name I don't remember is really good in bed.
*Norwegian
Omg I just woke up. In the hallway outside my room. I know you had something to do with this
yeah....try hearing them in person. it sounds like two muppets going at it
Would you like to get a drink then hook up or reverse order I don't really care. Hopefully you can keep this between us.
we cut you off when you started chasing with your slim fast shake
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