also, made friends with this 75 year old millionaire Tony who likes to mosh. Don't ask.
Come on... In this relationship-economy, you gotta have "awesome blowjobs" on your resume.
So I'm looking through your google history on your laptop and you have 'is ketchup even remotely nutritious' and 'alcohol with fewest calories but highest alcohol'. What new fad diet are you on because I feel like we could do this together.
He brought Stephanie home from the black light party. Apparently he has night vision beer goggles
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Take off that red sweater and wear my vagina as a facemask.
Did he seem like the type of guy that would maybe take weed as payment?
The last thing I remember was riding in a grocery cart with two strangers while a cop pushed us
Just thought you should know I'm having a reunion tour of Athens this weekend. Minus the weird guy I was fucking last time.
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
wait did i hook up with someone in mcdonalds last night?
yeah im watching him make his speech now. cant take him seriously tho. hes talking about funding for education and all i can think about is how ive seen what he looks like wearing womens underwear...
A 5 day bender that ended with refusing to pay my bar tab before I left the city. I offered to send them a selfie so they knew to never let me back in.
Just got recognized as black out drunk girl. I'm never going to live that down, am I?
Why is the floor coated in a 2 inch blanket of popcorn??
Rough birthday weekend. Eating McDonalds in the shower and used a fifth of sky as a pillow last night
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