we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
I woke up this morning with I hate myself feeling
That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
Pregnancy confirmed. Complete emotional instability achieved. I just cried through 95% of Avatar.
I think Memorial Day also marks the beginning of "Bikini Profile Picture" season.
so when he was about to cum, he screamed his mother's name and continued to pray for forgiveness. wtf
Using that mug my little cousin painted for me as an ashtray for my weed...at least next time he asks me if I'm using it I can say yes
Just met me in 10 years...this lady keeps an emergency wine cooler in her bag
I'm soaked in champagne. I'm eating oatmeal from mcdonalds tonight was glorious
Im so excited to get permanently banned for life from all the old bars again, it is gonna be christmas after all
Last night when you stole the construction sign you told me to tell you that first you did it for the money Than you did it for the music But mostly you did it for your family
Best compliment ever: Being told that you really understand sex by a professional. After she gave you a HANDJOB.
Bro you fell face first into the sand and then balled up into the fetal position and yelled help untill I picked you up, no more whiskey for you...
So it turns out "let's pretend to be gay so guys will stop hitting on us" was step one in her plan to get me into bed...
I just bought a slurpee and condoms. God bless America.
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