420 ftw
Sometimes I wonder if we could be friends if we lived closer.
i dont nkow, theres a guy slesping next to me and im wearing 8 tsthirts? wtf happened last night? will you come get me.
i think im in thre room next to you
i always forget that thursday isnt the weekend in the real world
angela screamed across the room SHES A CHAMP when i told the pharmacist plan b doesnt make me throw up
I was in bed at 845. Affairs take a lot out of people
He has a tattoo of a carebear. This is not happening.
U asked everyone for their hoodies so u could "safely hug the cactus"
The last time you said "no one will know" is when you ran out of sprite at your birthday party and dumped a handle of straight up vodka into the jungle juice.
I feel horrible. I brought her to your house like a late night pizza delivery and dropped her off.
I spent half an hour sculpting my pubes into a perfect triangle of really short hair, and the first thing he said when he saw it was "Don't you think you need a shave?"
At dinner her sister yelled "he fucked me AND mom!! Up your standards hoe!!" Safe to say I ruined that family
There's a Taco Bell quesadilla in my shower caddy right now.
If I die on my walk home, please come claim the body. There is $30 in my left shoe for you....for pizza
Update: I spent 10 minutes trying to fish out a rogue vagina weight.
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