Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
Nights of college: 1. Virgins: 1. Yes.
is it really high of me to have brought my own hot sauce to wendys?
Well, we missed our public lewdness court date. Looks like were going to jail in Alabama ...
The difference between you and me last night was that I didn't remember getting into the cab and you didnt know we were in one.
she puked as i came inside her. that has to mean something.
I feel like I've wasted too many painkillers on hangovers
He put up a Facebook album attempting to sell off their Harvard furniture. Items for sale include: his friend, a broken lamp, an item described as a 'carpet and/or sleeping bag', a pair of paint stained cargo pants, size 'Tyler', and a self proclaimed $3 bottle of wine, which he is offering for $2
My favorite bartender added me on Facebook. Now he can clearly see how under 21 I am
If the world ends now I want you to know I was on my favorite toilet fighting the good fight.
all i've had to eat today is leftover bday cake and a shot of tequila.
welcome to college.
I may have been mad at the Supreme Court/patriarchy and tried to hate fuck myself.
You guys are like the reason that ketamine is a controlled substance.
I found a Trump-humping republican virgin born on the goddamn Fourth of July. I NEED to hate-fuck him.
What. The. Fuck.
You'll have to be more specific. I do a lot of "what the fuck" kind of stuff
Randomize
