I may or may not have just irish jigged at a bar. And broken out in a sweat from it. Not a good sign for that marathon yo.
Heyy I kind of wanted to apologize and excuse myself for last night. I feel like that was a little much. I just met you. That's why I don't like tequila. Haha
dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
he is fucking friends with his exwife on facebook, but he defriends me after 3 dates? am i that crazy?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
she sent me pictures of 3 different vaginas and if I could pick which one was hers i could sleep with her.
I was always good at matching as a child.
That's not how these arrangements work. You don't buy each other stuff unless you break a sex toy. End of story.
Apparently unused tampons can also double as things to bite down on during public sex to prevent screaming...
You picked up her frozen vom puddle and threw it like a frisbee.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well I can cross being naked in a minivan off the list
And then he said he wanted to "get really weird with me on my horse." I took that as he wants to fuck me while riding my horse. Could be a good time.
I just realized that Margarita Wednesdays are so much better now when followed by No Work Thursdays.
Was not aware that standing loudly up off the couch and loudly, drunkenly slurring "I'M EIGHTEEN NOW BITCHES" counted as a primitive mating call.
It may be a corded vibrator from the 90s but it gets the job DONE
We still on for Manwhore Monday?
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