Plan B is the new Plan A
You wouldn't stop asking the hibachi cook if his knife was a hattori hanzo
i walked into the party and i guess everyone knew because they began to chant "ass to mouth"
You stayed up for three hours wasted, feeding my rabbit 2 1/2 boxes of girl scout cookies.
To make up for the snow days we missed he's making us write a paper on alcoholism. It's like he knows.
when did my "fat clothes" just become my clothes...diet starts tomorrow
I don't think a check that has "thx for the drugs" on the note is really gonna fly.
I wonder if they'd let me siphon the gas out my car before they impound it
Im sitting on the exxon bathroom floor, idk if its healthy but it sure is cold
my roommate just showed me the scar on her forehead... that she got from a shake weight... That. just. happened.
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
My sister hid me from my parents, brought me a bloody mary, and told my girlfriend I was out with my dad. For 13, I got to say she's working out pretty good.
your ability to divide cases of beer among any given group of people equally was missed.
Please put me on a plane and hypontize me into forgetting the little bit of last night that I do remember.
It should be perfectly legal to tase anyone not wearing a mask.
Randomize
