So can we just skip dinner and I'll just pay you for a blowjob?
Don't tempt me, I need beer money.
my shower just felt like jesus cried on me. like he shed tears just for my shower.
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
did you dip my ponytail in franzia? its the only thing i can think of to explain my hair right now.
But he made me breakfast and understands the fuck sleep fuck sleep necessities
It's a gift. Kind of like morning wood in my brain.
i'm only riding in the trunk because they put the case of beer back here..
Did you sleep with Connor? And who undressed me? There's a picture of two guys peeing out my bedroom window. What happened?
And if I don't get arrested for drinking and canoeing over the next 3 days, this hurricane will not have turned out anywhere near as well as I planned
You were making out with a freshman and said you wanted to back to his place. Then when you got to the door to leave you said "never mind." He sad it wasn't fair and you got all serious and told him "welcome to the real world kid."
ill be home in an hour. Be in my bed ready for disappointment
He stopped mid thrust ... To check snap chat .. From his roomie
STOP SENDING ME NAKED PICTURES WHEN I'M TRYING TO TEACH. MONDAY TUESDAY 1-3 IS A DICK AND ARSE FREE ZONE
he put a condom on for a handjob WTF
If the amount of time the owner spent looking at my tits is any indication, I’d say I can probably sleep my way to the top
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