I wish my penis had an off switch
Michael Jackson had a heart attack when he found out boyz to men was a music group not a delivery service.
A squiggle pen was my first vibrator back when I was young. I would lock myself in my bedroom with that thing. Oh to be 8 again.
She's dressed as Musafa. How could this not be a good idea?
I mean I like that it's warm enough to open the windows, but it annoys me that I can't walk around naked anymore.
I ended up taking shots of whiskey and chasing them with potato wedges, I have never felt more Irish
not the best booty call
did she squirt?
only if tears count
No our divorce decree will not have a blow job clause. Unless my alimony is greatly increased your bj's have been reduced to fantasy status.....
We would have taken you home with us, but you were outside the bar measuring a randoms stream of piss by walking along side it... you said you were only at 32 feet and it still had a couple of grooves to hit.
Dude she pregamed for her sorority's philanthropy.
Nothing makes me happier than finding out someone else is pregnant and it's not you.
Your brother's naked in the courtyard again. Just a head's up.
I'm sure there are thousands getting dick today in the name of independence
How does a face ride mean we're back together?
One day he'll find out I do drugs and stop talking to me.
What will you do then?
Drugs, probably.
Randomize
