May have just accidentally purchased an iphone on Kate's credit card. This has potential to be bad.
Hello, balls-out mistake. It's been a while.
battery dying...get laid and text me after...or during...its whatever.
God gave him joint rollers for hands
Did you shave a certain someone in his sleep last night?
I generally just try to vote by which candidate I think has the bigger dick. Sorry Romney.
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
It's cosmic balancing. My vagina is an instrument of karmic retribution.
I just remember lots of butts and something about ranch dressing.
a large sweaty girl i dont know is sleeping in my bed. A scotish man and a small child looking dude are on the couches im on the floor sleeping and im ok with it
If you find me in the bathroom in a fetal position, licking frozen bacon .. I might have Drank a little too much.
We ran out of toilet paper so Ive been using coffee filters
Did you mean to say flashlight? Or did your grandpa really give you a fleshlight for your bday?
I BLEED THE BLOOD OF MY ANCESTORS WHO FOUGHT SO BRAVELY FOR MY FREEDOM
cool u want pads or tampons
tampons please
FUCK ME I smuggled weed onto a plane by accident
Randomize
