I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
she told me her fantasy was her as a 55 year old cook at a truck stop who smokes a pack a day, and I was the 21 year old illegal immigarnt prep cook.
i just ran into our bio chem professor at the bar. apparently, he doesn't follow the "no slapping your students' asses" rule.
yeah, he just sent me a picture of himself with his shirt off.... It didnt turn me on, it just made me want to buy him a big mac....
I wouldnt consider it a good Wednesday if there wasn't any projectile vomit involved
This will never work out with him unless I somehow learn how to unhinge my jaw like a python.
I'm allowing myself one mistake a year. He gets to be 2012.
I blame it on the rum. It keeps jumpng doqn my throst.
I sent dad a photo of my graduation certificate from drug therapy class. It was his birthday so it seemed appropriate.
I was unconscious Saturday for like 6 hours after I passed out on the sidewalks of our nation's capital. Thank you America, for bottomless brunch.
Also I think I realized when my life started to turn into shambles.. The day I took my high school senior picture WITH A HICKEY ON MY NECK
A toast to whoever set this year's daylight savings fallback to the day after halloween, granting us another hour to detox before we pretend to be functional adults. Clearly, a partier with forethought and clear priorities. Cheers!
You added his wife on Facebook?! You're horrible at this mistress thing
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
We left Waffle House and he took off running five miles down the road saying we were "training for the Olympics." And I mean, I couldn't leave him out there like that...
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