i sneezed during and he said it felt like i gave birth to his dick...then asked me to do it again.
But why is there no point in liking him? Does he have herpes? Is he married? Is he gay? Did he get his penis chopped off in a freak accident? If the answer is no to all of the above, then he is fair game
Hey got that picture this morning. 1. clean your room 2.what happened to your nail? and 3. your penis is amazing,.
I'm convinced that the Christmas lights in my room contributed to the great sex.
I don't think you should be sorry for such memorable sex that I yell your name when you aren't around.
Sometimes you just have to have sex for a Netflix password.
My day in three words: secret purse cake
you did that thing you do when youre drunk where you rant about bruce springsteen, start hooking up with someone and then pass out midway through
sorry for the random call. He stopped mid-sex because he wanted confirmation that I was really a reverend.
The only thing he told me before he passed out was that he is from Buffalo and I'm a bitch.
I'm not asking for life coaching, I'm just asking if you know where I left my underpants.
Taking a shit in a Texas 7/11... not accepting phone calls now lol
We got cut off at the bar, but it's okay because I tactically rolled behind the bar and grabbed a bottle of whiskey. Meet me in the back booth when you're done puking in the bathroom. This is about to get real slutty.
what the fuck happened to the tacos
It goes to show, Sane person, daddy doms, little girls, all of us may seem different but deep inside we all grow wisdom teeth
Randomize
