i'm pretty confident that i watched a woman making love to a german shepherd.
Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
i just smoke outta the biggest bowl i've ever seen. the kid was totally compensating for a tiny weeenie.
The guy I was getting with last night took off his purity ring mid-sex and threw it across the room.
You turned to me, asked if I was having fun yet, and then threw up onto my jeans. Thanks for the awesome first time partying experience
i just threw up a quarter into the urinal in the bathroom at the bar. everybody else stared then cheered. that drunk
She guessed my name 9 times, and 5 of those times she guessed Mike. Figured that'd be an easy target for the night.
she works at a police station now. i think thats the definition of keeping your enemies closer.
Thanks for putting the blue stuff in the toilet, it made me throwing up this morning more enjoyable.
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
Ya I don't think I'm going anywhere, a cum towel, beer, and Vicodin was just exchanged in our white elephant present game
I love birth control. How's that for a Facebook status on valentines day.
Yeah, you gave me a condom that I 100% coulda used, then an hour later you basically beat the shit out of me and physically took it from my pocket.
Woke up with two different flip flops on sum burnt at the beach. Who are these French kids plz come back
I am drunk at 8am listening to Cyndi Lauper and dressed up in a penguin suit
Randomize
