dude your cousin who was wearing the skirt wasn't wearing any underwear
gross she's a slut
yea she doesn't shave either
I bought the love spell lotion from victoria secret so it atleast smells like a girl is present while I'm masturbating
Just got roadhead in a driving snowstorm. That shit should be a Winter X games event.
dibs on John Mayer's hood pass
This is random, but did i give u a handjob in the middle of the night or was that a dream?
I had a guy present me his prison release form this morning as id
I stole so many things from the ER last night.
I may have to steal the boat sober, but I feel that would be harder to explain.
Wait, whatever happened to locking our vaginas in closets?
You didn't hold all these dicks to become a party planner!
For real, I've been ditched by my boyfriend twice today alone. I fucking shaved for this guy.
Somewhere out there, Gloria Steinem just started to cry.
Yep if he's taking selfies he's probably on drugs again.
And then I fed you egg rolls in bed as you were screaming I'm moving out
The difference in our lives is summed up perfectly in that you woke up next to a 6'4" guy with an accent and I woke up next to an unwrapped piece of string cheese.
He goes "what would you say if I told you I like to get it in?" def a potential soulmate right there.
Randomize
