Can you believe The 5th Element didn't get best fight scene in 1997?! I'm still bitter. 12 years later.
Haha how do you remember that?
HOW COULD I FORGET?!
girls just need to accept the fact that i'm going to make out with their boyfriends
Oh my god, I hid a wine bottle in my boot.
Have introduced beer-pong to my work's Tuesday lunches.
I found a tip from a dart in my bra this morning
I'm pretty sure there was a language barrier but he knew what "harder" meant.
As payment for all the times you have babysat me while im drunk, im giving you the shorts i stole from the guy i stayed with on friday night. They're clean. Come get em.
Maybe not, but you have to admit watching him get hit by the car was gratifying
There's a treasure map on your stomach. Treasure may or may not be the clothes you lost...enjoy
I don't think eating half of a pickle out of my mouth counts as getting to know me
YOU TOLD ME THAT YOU CAUGHT A TAXI HOME. SARAH SAID THE POLICE DROPPED YOU OFF.
You could make a naked club. One member, you. One president, you.
i wish i just like had a pee bag attached to me and i could just go whenever i want wherever i want
my bed is a shrine, and I am its goddess.
Now all I have unanswered questions and a fucked up finger
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