Did I ever tell you that the first person i made out with cried?
the roller ball on my blackberry is the closest i've come to touching a clit in 2 years.
i am making flyers for the homeless letting them know about free chipolte day
So I was gonna stay in tonight but the president got me motivated! I will not quit. Bars here I come.
just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
Just remembered I hit myself in the face with a bottle then did the nose test and decided I was still good. Don't think anyone noticed.
After i black out, be a good friend and point me to the direction of a girl with daddy issues, any girl would do just fine
What I thought was my travel sanitizer was actually my travel lube. Most awkward transit ride of all time!
Doing laundry. My jeans from last night smell like chicken wings and motor oil.
I just delete my bank app from my phone to have enough storage to download tindr. Is this my life now?
I am rewearing my dress from last night. I only wore it for like two hours before fucking. And I took it off first so no cock contact. This is my new standard of cleanliness.
I've never been so excited to be bleeding from my vagina.
We've been taking shots, cranking Marilyn Manson, and eating your bacon. Your kid is probably ruined.
I smell like a mix of alcohol, sweat, and sex and its only 10 AM
Well, let me first tell you that jack and cokes were ONE FUCKING DOLLAR.. It's like the club wanted me to make poor choices.
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