he made me salute his american flag boxers before i took them off
quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
a kid who worked there came up to me and let me know you were sitting in the bathroom sink. he said it was fine, so i just kept checking on you.
and he should realize what an amazing ex i am for encouraging my best friend to hook up with him
"The juvenile turned and faced the officer, unzipped his pants, placed a fresh cigarette in between his legs and preceded to light it with a match"
as much as i want to say no i cant cause i need the trophy wife training
The guy that stalks me just looked out his window and saw me in his neighbor's hot tub. Get your shit ready the fraternity wars are starting.
Just give me 5 advils and some sunglasses and I'll knock out on this couch no problem.
I'm shaving my vagina to the lion king soundtrack. How's your 9am?
Bro. I traded my coat. I have a Raiders coat now.
I wanted to say, you're welcome for your orgasms, thanks for not returning the favor, Needledick
And the next thing I knew I was blowing this random hot italian bartender with an uncircumcised penis in his work closet
His condition for us having sex was that I wore my show boots. #equestrianproblems
I traded some nice guy at the bar ten bucks and a pack of cigarettes for his leather jacket. I'm pretty sure I win at life. Whoever is in my phone as Tyler Durden, I thank you.
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