3:40 am: you never wrote back on my facebook wall
Does leaving at 3 give Sara enough time to take the bus or are you picking her up?
I cant tell if your joking or not, but I'm picking her up
Do you need some kind of permission slip from her parents or can anyone just go and grab a high schooler these days?
dude sorry but u no that when a guys 'likes' ur pic on facebook it only means he was just jacking off to it.
He spanked me with a plate. I'm not sure where this is going...
did u get his digits?
yes his name is chazbangbangbang according to my phone...
Well when you're drinking tequila mixed with water out of a steve Austin cup I really don't think acquiring a straw is your main priority
Well, I want to see you regardless of whether or not you will lick whipped cream off my body.
It's hard to take you serious when you're crying your eyes out wearing an adult sized onesie.
That awkward moment when the guy you hooked up on spring break invites you over for dinner to meet his parents and you say yes because the first rule of college is never turn down a free meal.
THE SHIT YOU GET YOURSELF INTO
That ACT prep teacher knew i was hung. I could see it in her eyes.
Me and the cabbie are stopping on the way at a sit down restaurant to eat. My life is so sad.
So somehow today's lecture on the immune system turned into me having to stand up and explain female ejaculation to the class.
I slept with a Brazillian Man, That's why I'm Watching The World Cup
Just packed a snack to eat on the way to McDonald's. That stoned.
No one can touch me, I'm made of fruit.
Randomize
