Hooking up with one of the deadbeat dads from Teen Mom does not qualify as banging a celebrity.
Do you know how awkward it is to call the bar from last night and ask if they found my leggings?
It was only 12:11 and I needed to make a Pepto Latte and call it a night, I don't remember that being part of my new years resolution.
also, I just found three random bruises on my knee. probably from when I was velcrod to the stairs
Oh you know, watching its always sunny and petting his cat and NOT fucking. I'm starting my whorefree 2012 resolution early.
he said good things come in small packages and I decided to hook up with someone else
I'm offering you baseball tickets and my vagina, isn't that enough?
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
8===D
That's the bat signal to come over and fuck me.
Just walked into your room to get my clothes and he's still passed out in your bed. Remind me to high five you when you get home
I remember caressing his hands asking him if he moisturized, then i proceeded to put his hands on my face
Your trash is full of condoms and yoohoos what a great life we live
I'm not dropping acid and watching game of thrones with you. That just sounds like a disaster waiting to happen.
I found a hair colour I want in a porn.
I've been getting a lot of emails from patron lately for being a great customer. Is that awesome, or should I start thinking about seeking help?
Randomize
