He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
u know ur in oregon when the cop tells u to keep the beer cans he made u pour out so u can recycle them
I told her I would melt her with my mustache. Needless to say, he pants were soon off.
I just woke up in my car with half the wedding cake next to me. This will not end well.
I think jizz is working it's way to becoming my number 1 food source.
He was singing "i gotta feeling" under his breath as i was pulling my top off.
Their car went through the first bag of wine on the drive up...clearly 6 bags was not enough.
He said he was going to "rock my world". I wonder if he too has a false sense of confidence and accomplishment stemming from a complete lack of honesty from our own female counterparts.
we got cut off at 8 am. He spilled his drink three times on the plane. this should be one hell of a vegas trip
Nothing like puking into an empty cooler at a red light on the way to get plan b.
I left my pipe in my center console with a bowl packed when I took my car to the shop, and when I picked it up the weed had been smoked, but my oil change was only half price.
People around me are just doing lines of cocaine. Like its no big deal. And I'm just here like.... Y'all want some cheezits?
What not to say at an interview: i can wrap the shit out of some food.
we had a full conversation and he only brought up drugs twice. overall I'd call it a success
I may have passed out and puked all over the host's favorite couch, but three hours and a rip later, I was eating tiramisu in the bathtub with the birthday boy and a hot Italian.
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