you wouldn't even come home last night... Dead to me
What are you doing tonight?
Watching dora the explorer and pining for a sex life.
dude she was so drunk she thought Jim Joyce made the right call
You insisted on drinking champagne out of the dog bowl
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sorry the STD update turned into an attempt at a bootycall, but at least we both know we're clean now
He ran around the party with a broken foot/ankle with a gallon of Malibu yelling "it must rain coconut"
I found my hair extensions. They were in my hamper.
Sometimes you just have to have sex for a Netflix password.
He's hitting it raw. Might as well stick his dick in a vat of SARS at this point.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just got the two most enjoyable things in life in one... Weed delivered in bubble wrap.
You have no idea I looked like the porno version of Laura Ingalls Wilder
When I was sick she came over with Call of Duty, animal crackers and a handjob. Honor says I can't dump her until Easter
I tried to take a cute nude but sneezed halfway through. I sent it anyway
You WHAT?!?!
Paid. A. Homeless. Guy. To. Throw. A. Drink. In. Her. Face.
I fucking love you.
Have you ever been anal in a bush on the Vegas strip drunk?
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