he texted me telling him i gave him the clap. but i think he gave it to me and i gave it back to him
I feel like our bond is deeper now that we're both sleeping with married men. now we're really bffls
when my professor asked "does anyone know what streches across south america" and a kid in the back row said "my exgirfriends vagina" i knew i was at home.
I just cleaned your Jaeger vomit off my car with a knife. Don't ever say I don't love you.
It took 5 minutes to find my bra.. in his car.
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
And on the subject of embracing my inner whore, I had two different dicks in my mouth yesterday. Friend, it's official. I'm completely outta control.
Leaving your birthday party to engage in a threesome IS allowed. I checked the rule book.
All I could think about while he was going down on me was that his moustache reminded me that I want to try something new with my pubic hair.
Sorry about flashing you in front of your mom.
Note to self; if you can light it on fire, you probs shouldn't drink it
Just bailed on her the best way possible. Got tickets to the game. Only issue is.... if we lose, we not only lost, but I skipped sex to watch us lose
I decided not to look up the nudes, because I believe that there is a line, and that mocking my old classmate's horrid nudes alone crosses that line.
I’m photoshopping my boobs to up my Tinder game. I need better dick in 2020
can I CTRL ALT DELETE this universe
Randomize
